I know it's wrong take people bad if they did nothing bad to you. If there's nothing about you. Schoolmates, Internet friends. They even don;t know me but they tell me I'm a fool. 'Prove it. Why?' - they never tell me why, never explain me what's wrong about me and why they think so. So why? Why can't I be with man I don't love? Everyone can but me.

I can't understand people around me. I can't have a good time with them. There's nothing interesting. I was trying. And they could be my friends. God, why did you create me such a fool! Such a strange fool?!

Why are they laughing at my emotions?

I remember I was a 12-year girl. I liked a boy in my class. He wasn't perfect but I liked him. So when he knew about my simpathy he was laughing. He was joking and smiling and laughing. He said then: 'Don't try to be beautiful - you won't'. So he was mistaken. He watches me getting bustop often. And he always looks at me strange sight. It expresses nothing, may be I don;t know what exactly it can express. So I became beautiful. Without any cosmetics or make up. Just by myself. But I remember his words. He was laughing. I cried a lot after.

And there was just three happy years in my life, just three! No more! But I was beloved I wasn't alone, I was the best I was someone! Now I'm noone, I'm nothing. Loser?